FE 910 Character Rap Sheets
by SolStone
Summary: This is for sheer lulz. This is a compilation of FE character rap sheets from 9 and 10. Enjoy!


For some more FE humor, here is a random conversation that was taken from the many emails between SolStone and Solis Knight. So, we are both co-authors.

It is a rap sheet for some of the Fire Emblem characters, from FE9/FE10.

And I realize that Soren is on here twice. XD

Disclaimer: I don't own Fire Emblem. And Solis Knight doesn't either. D:

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Ike:

1 count of saving the world, then leaving it to be all cool and heroic-like

Rolf:

100000000 counts of murder.... [but it'll look like they never happened by the time he's 21. :D]

Boyd:

24 counts of taking illegal performance enhancing drugs

156721 counts of using profanity

Nailah:

1 count of murdering an officer suspected of putting charges on her

1 count of -*is murdered*

Rafiel:

100000000000000000 counts of being a pussy heron

Volug:

1 count of speaking gibberish

1 count of speaking something that was assumed to be a language

1 count of speaking something unintelligable

1 count of ripping someone's throat out who asked him what he was saying

Reyson:

1 count of punching a fat man

1 count of breaking his own hand

1 count of being misplaced for a girl

Dheginsea:

1 count of defying the goddess

1 count of defying the OTHER goddess twice

1 count of defying Ike

1 count of defying Soren

1 count of defying Ranulf

1 count of defying Reyson

1 count of defying Caineghis

1 count of defying Naesala

1 count of defying Sanaki

etc etc etc

Kurthnaga:

1 count of being a laguz royal AND BEING HEMOPHOBIC

Lucia:

36356345324641362 counts of being a spy (and counting)

3 counts of not accepting marriage proposals

743 counts of lesbianism - inadmissable in court due to suspected blood ties

743 counts of incest - inadmissable due to suspected lesbianism

100 counts of far too exceptional swordsmanship

Bastian:

Unable to figure out what to charge him with - trial deferred until we can figure out what the hell he's saying.

Titania:

1 count of make out with a dead body

6 counts of being a cougar

Tauroneo:

159825 counts of being a traitor (and counting)

3 counts of helping to kill his king

3214 counts of being loyal to his state (and counting)

13 counts of being really quiet while plotting the doom of everyone around him (Charges dropped on account of unprovability)

Soren:

129 counts of self-inflicted injuries

34 counts of berating a fellow officer

12345 counts of sarcasm

67890 counts of being negative, pessimistic, or downright ticked off

45 counts of yelling people

3 counts of berating Skrimir and not being killed afterwards

Lyre:

12 counts of being drunk in public

15 counts of being drunk and disorderly

17 counts of throwing loud parties in open areas

1995 counts of disturbing the peace

1 count of not being as hawt as her sister

Kyza:

100 counts of attempting to hit on a superior officer

15 counts of attempting to bribe a superior officer into promoting him

65 counts of bribing a public officer

71 counts of disorderly conduct

3 counts of physically harming a female officer

Ranulf:

1 count of letting Amy sleep on his soft tummy

1 count of awesomeness

1 count of attempted, yet successful awesomeness

1 count of still being awesome even while being beaten up by villagers with a combined strength of 2

1 count of keying the BK's armor, and being awesome while doing so

1 count of eloping with an un-awesome person (Ike)

1 count of standing awesomely, watching a friend get his arse kicked by the BK

1 count of living to tell the awesome tale.

Volke:

999999999 counts of Obstructing Justice, by demanding that he be paid to tell us anything

137 counts of murder

1234 counts of illegally opening a door or chest

34 counts of threatening to cut someone's heart out

9999999 counts of raising the price for his work

1 count of only having one support partner

1 count of almost killing said support partner with knives

10 counts of trying to threaten to kill the CEO of Intelligent Systems for only giving him one support

Ilyana:

35 counts of eating everything in sight

3009 counts of eating almost everything in sight

9999999999 counts of pretending to eat a small portion, then stealing food from everyone else

214235 counts of pilfering food

314563256 counts of loitering near supermarkets, food stores

342 counts of murder for food

11 counts of cannibalism

16 counts of assaulting officers of the police (15 counts of biting, 1 count of swallowing pieces of human flesh)

Marcia:

1 count of fighting against an attempted rapist

1 count of living through a rape

1 count of successful murder against rapist

Makalov:

34 counts of Driving Under the Influence

57 counts of bootlegging

89 counts of Obstructing Justice

1 count of attempted rape

Soren:

1 count of racial profiling

1 count of non-racial profiling

1 count of profiling that may/may not have been racial

1 count of being too silent while profiling

1 count of general smartness

1 count of being too smart

1 count of overwhelming genius

1 count of pointing out obvious flaws in legal structure

1 count of yelling at an officer for writing **completely true **crimes on rap sheet

1 count of attacking an officer in the course of duty

1 count of burning rap sheets of friends

1 count of using nasty words to belittle an officer of the law

1 count of walking away furiously

1 count of leaving an officer of the law on the ground after pushing him down

Mia:

23 counts of attacking a priest

67 counts of hitting on a priest

14 counts of attacking unarmed citizens [all of which were wearing white]

Rhys:

1 count of suspicious works of general goodness

1 count of being unknowingly followed on suspicion of goodness

1 count of being photographed healing the blind

1 count of hanging around a church

1 count of working late at a hospital

1 count of doing absolutely nothing wrong

Shinon:

213 counts of obstructing justice  
165 counts of Drunk and Disorderly

13 counts of attempted disrobement

3 counts of unfortunately successful disrobement

4 counts of illegal streaking

3 counts of bribing police officers (out of 98 attempts... lucky bastard)

5 counts of assault and battery

3 counts of assault with intent to maim

1 count of attempted murder

1 count of resisting arrest for attempted murder

1 count of attempting murder on officers of the law attempting to apprehend him for attempted murder

Gatrie:

40000 counts of hitting on a Tree wearing a skirt

* * *

:D Hope you laughed at least once. And yes, this was edited to keep it at a Teen level. XD

Reviews are nice. :D Just simple comments, like "lol" are cool.


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